There are some things that, no matter how small or insignificant they are for others, actually hurt us deeply. Oftentimes, it can signal a betrayal. We may not say it, but it has broken some trust and led to disappointment.
Has your significant other ever done something that made you feel betrayed? Let us know if you can relate to some of the items below.
1. Unopened Love Letters
Somebody commented, “When he was doing a work contract overseas, I sent him love letters every two weeks to feel connected. When he got home and unpacked, I found many of them unopened.”
Another person replied, “This made me gasp out loud. That’s terrible.”
Then the third added, “This one made me feel so genuinely sad. I’m sorry he did that to you.”
2. Sharing His Hoodie With Someone Else
One person stated, “My high school girlfriend lent my hoodie to someone else.”
“Gah! I had a University BF lend my hoodie to a girl (who was a smoker, too). There were at least 15 other singles guys there that could have stepped up and lent her their sweaters, but mine was up for grabs! And when I got it back, it reeked. So, annoyed with him on multiple levels,” replied another.
Then the third added, “I hate people who do that! Unwritten rule you don’t lend or give away other people’s things. The height of disrespect.”
3. Not Taking Care of You
“When he got COVID, he was quarantined downstairs. I waited on him hand and foot. Three days later, I got COVID-19 but while he was feeling better and still quarantining himself, I had to be sick and care for our son. I was stooped over the counter trying to make him dinner, and he just went back downstairs. I’ll always remember that,” shared one.
“Behavior like that is why my parents are getting a divorce. My dad expects to be waited on hand and foot, sick or not but literally could not be less involved when his wife or kids need help. Once my mom got really sick (I think it was the Flu or Strep) she begged my dad to get her some miso soup from the restaurant up the road (her favorite). She even tried offering to pay the $3 for the soup and the gas he would use there and back and he still refused. He Left her upstairs crying while he sat in the basement blasting the TV on full volume before going to bed in another room in the house without even checking on her. He literally couldn’t even be bothered to go 5 minutes up the road and get her a cup of her favorite soup while she was sick,” shared the second person.
“This is cruel,” added another.
4. Making Fun of Others
One person stated, “I had a friend who dumped his gf when he overheard her making fun of his (admittedly, rather nerdy) sister to her friends. He said it wasn’t just about loyalty to his sis, it was about not wanting to be with someone who has to put others down to feel better about herself. Always thought it was admirable.”
The second person replied, “Bruh, that’s so messed up. He did the right thing.”
5. Always Expecting You to Care for the Kids
“After complaining for months that I never got to sleep in, despite being the only one to get up to the kids in the night, he finally let me sleep in one morning. I woke up hearing him quietly saying to the kids “Mummy’s had long enough; go wake her up”. I only had maybe an hour extra. He always had several,” shared somebody.
“Hurts to read it. We have a newborn (third child) in our household and in the mornings I try to keep her away from my sleeping wife at long as possible,” replied another.
6. Making Jokes in Serious Situations
One user said, “We were going through airport security together. She went first and when she was being screened, pointed at me and said ‘make sure you check my boyfriend, he always has knives,’ as a joke and then I got detained for a search and questioning and almost missed the flight. And no, I didn’t have any knives other other contraband on me. Then she got mad at me for almost missing our flight. LIKE WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN HERE, EMILY.”
Another one replied, “She sounds like an idiot. Who ‘jokes’ with airport security?”
7. Never Saying Thank You
“It’s small, but one year we were both working 15-18 hour days but had thanksgiving off. I planned the menu, he didn’t give input. I ordered the ingredients online during my lunch break to pick up after work because I didn’t have time to shop. I woke up early, made everything. Cleaned the dishes and the kitchen after. All he did was complain. I made too much. I had too much wine (3 glasses over 7 hours). After all that work and not even a compliment or a thank you? Yeah—we divorced. That was our last thanksgiving together,” shared one.
Another user replied, “I’m no relationship therapist, but one thing I have come to see over the years is that lack of recognition, appreciation, reciprocation, and affection are the little insidious, unnoticeable things that build up over time and erode the bedrock of your relationship. I call it insidious and unnoticeable because you don’t really see it until you do things fall apart slowly and then all at once, after years of this erosion breaking your connection.
“We sort of take our spouses for granted, and forget the intimacy, appreciation, and connection that is why they became our spouses in the first place. So this incident might have seemed small but I’m sure to have put all that work and effort into what sounds like was a really nice Thanksgiving, even while working those insane hours, only to be met with complaints and ridicule? Yeah, that would have messed me up too.”
8. Skipping My Favorite Songs on the Radio
One person stated, “My ex would skip the songs I liked that came on the radio.”
Another Redditor replied, ”SAME!! I’d start singing along to a song, and he’d change it. And I’m actually very quiet and DO NOT SING in front of people. So like the chorus is coming up and woops, changed the station to something terrible instead.”
Another added in agreement: “This has happened to me, and it is a much bigger deal than it seems. It is such a selfish … move.”
9. Ignored Plans They Made With You
“The most extreme case I know of is my dad and the girlfriend he had before my mom came along. He and the gf were high school sweethearts and had been together for three years. They were both dying to see Back to the Future 2, a movie that had been highly anticipated for years.
“He had a family emergency the day it came out, so they agreed to see it the following Monday. He found out from friends that she went to see it with a douchey guy friend my dad never really liked. He was so hurt, and she was so unapologetic (her attitude was “I’ll go see it with you too! Why did I have to wait?” even though they’d agreed to see it together) he told her they needed to take a break.
“He fully meant for it to be temporary, just until he cooled off, but then he met my mom when he went to see the movie by himself and he never looked back. He does feel a bit guilty though because his ex was pretty devastated when she found out he’d met someone else and wanted to end things for good,” shared somebody.
“They AGREED to wait and watch it together and still she went with someone else and was unapologetic about it? If you think waiting is dumb say so in the first place, don’t pretend to agree to it. Amazing how he met your mom when he went to a screening by himself. Almost enough to make you believe in fate,” replied another.
10. Lying
One person shared, “Small but we moved in together. Made a deal, no smoking in the house. Few weeks in, come home and she was smoking at her desk. Front door was six feet away. Maybe minor but I don’t think it was a big ask.”
The second person replied, “It’s always the lying that gets me.”
11. Finishing the Food You Saved
Somebody stated, “When I was going through an extremely difficult and complex pregnancy with our twins, I had SERIOUS orange juice cravings. But, I also had gestational diabetes, heartburn so bad it was medicated, and hyoeremesis gravidarum. So I rationed it, which was seriously hard to make myself do, and allowed myself a single serving a day.
I was also starving, but my babies had crushed all my organs, so I could barely fit anything in my stomach. I was losing weight and starting to have feelings of what I can only describe as primal food-guarding.
One day I woke up and found the orange juice carton in the bin. He had drank the last of it; I was too ill to get to the shop, and he was out at work all day. I phoned him, literally [sobbing]-screaming ‘how could you…’. I’ve genuinely never felt such deep emotional betrayal before or since. I cannot explain it, hormones, medical difficulties, and growing two people seriously mess with you.”
12. Didn’t Stand Up for You
“Other people have told me this is a small thing, and I should have gotten over it: My ex’s friend didn’t like me and would regularly make nasty comments about me or … comments about my body. My ex would pretend he hadn’t heard or would leave the room so I was left alone with his friend. Unfortunately, this is one reason why he’s an ex, but others have told me it wasn’t a big deal,” said somebody.
“Your ex is a pathetic excuse for a man, and anyone telling you that you overreacted is delusional or intentionally gaslighting you. Good thing he’s your ex,” replied the second person.
“This is a HUGE thing. Major, major red flags from your ex and his friend. Glad to hear he’s an ex,” added another.
13. Taking Credit for Your Efforts
One person stated, “I taught our dog how to ‘speak’ (bark on command). This took a lot of treats and a lot of patience on my end. She got annoyed with me because the dog was barking and I was saying ‘speak’ over and over. At a party, I overheard her telling her friends that she taught him that trick.”
The second person replied with the same experience with a coworker: “This reminds me of my coworker. He’s only been at the company for 6 months; he just got over his probation period. I’ve been at the company for 3 years. We operate equipment.
“I overheard him telling another coworker that he taught me how to operate a backhoe two days after I trained him on the brand new piece of equipment he had never run in his life. He’s 54m I’m 34f, I’ve been running construction equipment my entire life, and he was a paper-pushing safety guy at his last job. The other coworker laughed and said, ‘I f- doubt that.’ Thankfully.”
14. Calling You the Ball and Chain
“My ex-husband referred to me as ‘the ball and chain’ while conversing with his friends, and … didn’t understand why that hurt me. I was constantly asking him to leave the house and spend time with his friends, go do fun things apart from me, and I caught him blaming me when telling them he couldn’t go out with them. This isn’t the reason we divorced, but is one of the small things which he felt was innocuous but really did feel like a betrayal to me,” said one.
“I had a friend that constantly said things like that about his (now ex) wife. When my husband wanted to leave a ‘guys night’ a bit early, the guy made a comment about the ‘old ball and chain’ (me), and my husband just quipped back, ‘I dunno man, I actually like my wife, and I want to spend time with her. That’s why I married her.’ This was 5 years ago, and it still makes me smile. I’m sorry your ex said those things. It’s so hurtful,” replied another.
15. Eating Leftovers You Saved
“My ex took me out to a nice anniversary dinner. I can never finish a restaurant entree so I took half home. He knew I really loved the meal and was looking forward to leftovers. He ate them while I was at work. It was a small betrayal and I didn’t break up with him or anything. There wasn’t a fight, no drama. But it did kinda taint the anniversary memory for me, can’t lie,” said one.
“See, this is the kind of thing that would be too small for me to make a big deal over, but is so blatantly inconsiderate, it would eat at me (no pun intended) for a while,” replied another.
16. Criticizing Your Appearance to Friends
One user stated, “Had a friend that was going through some serious health stuff. My wife was texting with his wife getting updates (they are best friends/grew up together). She hands me the phone to read the texts about what was going on, so I’m scrolling up and reading them when I get to the beginning of the conversation. I noticed there is a picture that was sent to her of me bending down and playing with our daughter a day or two before.
So I scroll up a little farther and see her making callous remarks about my thinning hair. I scrolled back to the bottom and gave her the phone back. I never said anything to her about it, and she still doesn’t know I saw it. It hurts because I would never do/say things like that regarding anything with her appearance. I know my hair is thinning on top as I get older, but I never had an issue with it until that moment. Now I always wear a hat.”
The second person replied, “Don’t be ashamed. Your hair naturally thins; it is what it is. She should understand that.”
17. Promising to Plan a Date but Never Doing It
“My ex-husband would tell me he was going to plan a date for us after I would beg him to take on the mental load of planning something nice for me rather than me doing it for him every time. He would talk up the date he was planning for days, and when the day would come and we were getting ready to get in the car, he would say, ‘where do you want to eat?’ Not only did he not plan a date ahead of time, but then he put the mental load of figuring it out on me right as we were leaving.
“Then after we would go back and forth on where to eat as we are driving there, he would suggest EVERY RESTAURANT WE DROVE PAST INSTEAD OF WHERE WE CHOSE TO GO. It was insanely frustrating,” one person stated.
Then the second person replied, “We had the same husband! Ex husband. Ex. Did he then complain about your choice, but claim the date night was all his effort, so you then owed him?”
Did you relate to some of the situations above? Let us know how you feel about it in the comments.
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Source: Reddit
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