There are usually signs when a couple is heading for a breakup, or one of the two realizes this aren’t the one. The laughter that once filled the room may slowly fade, replaced by awkward silences and forced conversations.
Here are 11 of the subtle and not-so-subtle indications that a relationship may be on the rocks. From changes in communication and behavior to shifts in future planning and emotional connection, these people share their experiences!
1. Dating Someone Else
Somebody said, “I dumped him when another woman posted on Facebook she was in a relationship with him since April 30. We started dating September 2. I messaged her before I contacted him. We texted about 2 hours coming up with a plan of attack. She said she’d break it off with him, but from my understanding, he’s still her boyfriend and they live together. She can have him.”
2. If You’re Walking On Eggshells
“When I realized I had started walking on eggshells and was afraid to say how I feel because it would turn into huge guilt tripping from his side,” shared somebody.
3. Staying Out All Night Without Explanation
One person stated, “When he stayed out all night, didn’t call or answer my calls or texts, and never explained. Multiple times.”
“This hurts so bad. Even more when you see that this person is online the whole time, posting on social media, but can’t be bothered texting his/her partner at least once,” replied another.
4. Not Checking Up on You
Somebody commented, “I had a medical procedure and had internal bleeding for a few days. I spent a good 24 hours curled in a ball in a dark room in pain. She never checked on me. But when I finally came out into the living room—all hunched over and barely able to walk—she just held out her coffee cup, expecting me to fill it. F- all that.”
5. Expecting You to Care For Them While You’re Sick
“When he got upset with me because I was lounging around sick from the flu on Thanksgiving. He was upset there wasn’t a Thanksgiving meal, and I had suggested he go see his family because I was sick and not up to making a turkey, mashed potatoes, and the Thanksgiving foods. He got very mad and chased me and belittled me. I ended things a couple months later, and it was such a relief,” shared somebody.
6. Gambling Money Like Crazy
“When I found out she spent her entire life savings at the casino in 2 months. $80k gone just like that. I took her once for her birthday because she had never been before and that’s what started it, 2 months later she was calling in sick to work just to go lose a few thousand each day. Someone from her work knocked on her door while I was there and that’s how I found out. She would have taken loans out under my name to feed that beast if she could, so I cut it off in a heartbeat,” shared someone.
7. Making You Feel Stupid
One user stated, “Might have had something to do with her constantly making me feel stupid and worthless for no reason, and how she tried to convince me that I was never being myself when we were together. It’s that or the whole ‘talking to her ex behind my back and making plans to move across the country to be with him’ thing.”
8. Cheating On You
“When he admitted to cheating on me. I had my suspicions, but I needed him to confirm it. Didn’t matter when he pushed me around, gaslit me, name called, or was otherwise controlling and s-. The cheating was the ultimate betrayal, and I could never move past it—ended it the day he finally admitted it,” shared somebody.
9. They’re Too Busy for You
Somebody said, “When I had to have surgery and he was ‘too busy’ to drive me or take care of me. Had to have my sister drive 8 hours to do it. Turns out he told his work he needed that day off. He woke me asking for a copy of the doctor’s note. Nope.”
10. Feeling Trapped
“When I thought to myself what it would be like to marry or have children with this person. Literally sent chills down my spine. It was a horrible relationship, but for some reason it took the thought of making my life as it was then, like that forever, to realize I absolutely didn’t want that. If love ends up being the ONLY reason you are with someone, and no other happiness helps foster that feeling, it will wilt and die,” stated one.
11. Not Sure After Years of Dating
One person narrated his experience, “We had some big cultural differences (she was Indian, I’m Hispanic) to work through, but we’re both pretty liberal and open-minded people. We were always very open about communicating, and I feel like I was pretty accommodating when it came to her family situation.
“We had been fighting a bit, but I knew we could get through it. At 2.5 years, I asked her, ‘What are the next stages of our relationship?’ She said, ‘I can’t guarantee anything.’ It turned into a big fight, and I apologized for breaching the subject.
“The problem wasn’t really solved though; over the next week, she avoided conversations, flaked on out on a date, and then pretty much just shut down whenever I tried to talk to her about it. That, mixed with some advice from my closest friends, sealed it. I posed the ultimatum, ‘Either I meet your family and we go to the next step, or I’m out.’ and you can see how well that went.
“Do I feel bad about the ultimatum? Yeah, a little bit. But at the end of the day, I don’t need to hear somebody being unsure about me after 2.5 years, and I don’t need somebody who doesn’t validate my concerns and insecurities about the relationship.”
Can you relate to some of the situations above? Let us know in the comments!
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