Single and Ready to Mingle? 11 Insights for the Relationship Newbie

Being in a relationship is different for those who have never been in one. Oftentimes, we assume a romantic relationship will be easy to figure out and we’ll know just what to do, but there are some differences people don’t know until they’re in a relationship too.

Here are 11 things people who have never been in a relationship should know about:

1. You Can Always Leave

Breaking up in public
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One person said, “You can leave! Always! There will be other people in this world who can and will love you. Finding your first relationship is not your one and only shot at romance.

“It’s important to remember that fact if things aren’t going well someday. The goal is to find the right person who will be reasonable when working through life’s challenges with you. The goal is NOT to ‘make it work’ despite big incompatibility issues or abuse just for the sake of staying together. It is okay and healthy to leave a poor relationship behind.

“Too many people feel like they are trapped and locked into their first relationship because commitment and loyalty seem like the ultimate objective. You’re not ‘walking out’ if your partner makes you feel pressured, worthless, scared, controlled, etc.”

2. Being in Love Is Different Than Love

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Somebody shared, “Being in love is different than love. Being in love is infatuation. You put their needs above your own. Loving someone is a balance. Compromise. Giving your faults and accepting theirs. You will live and grow. However much your heart is broken, you will learn lessons.”

3. Never Go to Bed Angry

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“Not sure if it can be considered relationship advice, but my mother always told me to never, ever go to bed after a big argument with your partner and give them the silent treatment. You should always say good night and give him/her a kiss even if it is tense. You never know what could happen in your or their sleep. I’m obviously excluding abusing couples and toxic relationships,” stated somebody.

4. It’s Not Always 50/50

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One person said, “It’s not always going to be 50/50. Some days will be 70/30 and you have to try not to let that bother you. My partner right now has been ill for about 3 days; right now we’re 100/0. I’m doing all the cooking, cleaning, taking the dog out etc.  A few weeks back, it was me that was poorly, and it was 0/100.  Take the good with the bad, but don’t take [abuse].”

5. Watch Out for Inconsistencies

Breaking up through text
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One user shared, “When you first start dating someone and they are inconsistent with their communication with you, they are not able/willing to be in a good relationship or they’re not interested enough. Leave the situation and know it’s not that you’re unworthy. It’s a them problem. Look into emotional availability for signs in yourself and them. No amount of effort on your part can make someone care for you.

“Anything that you notice isn’t a match with what you want in a partner in the beginning will be a problem later. Address it sooner rather than later.”

6. Don’t Ignore Your Feelings

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“Making someone else happy should not come at the expense of your own happiness. All relationships (romantic or otherwise) involve compromise or days where one partner will need to be ‘more present’ for the other. But if you find your relationship to be something that you find an emotional or physical drain often, do not ignore that feeling. It’s a sign that something is wrong,” stated somebody.

7. It’s Hard Work

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“It’s hard work. There’s a lot of give and take, and some days you will have to give a lot more than you receive. You’re gonna change as a person. Obviously, you shouldn’t change your morals and core values. But, you’re going to want to change and be a better person for your partner. A relationship will tear your life apart and it can hurt, but you learn more about yourself than you can ever alone. And if you really love someone, you’re going to want the best for them no matter what,” said somebody.

8. Treat Each Other With Respect

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Somebody stated, “Respect is huge! Even when you argue, treat each other with respect. Gratitude is really important too, showing/telling your partner that you are grateful for the things they do, big or small. It can be as simple as thanking them for cooking dinner or washing up.

“Never stop saying thank you. No one wants to feel taken for granted. It takes work, constant communication, constant effort, trust and honesty. You’re a team, and it’s vital that you keep that mindset always.”

9. Don’t Coast Once You’re Married

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“Having a partner, even marriage, shouldn’t be the end goal. It’s hard work every day to make it work. Some days are easier than others. Don’t automatically give up when things get hard—unless someone isn’t treating the other right,” shared one.

10. It’s About Patience and Compromise

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Somebody mentioned, “Patience and compromise. Good and bad days, hopefully, more good. If bad, look into why, and if they aren’t changing on something important to you, it’s not the end of the world to leave. Eventually, they may feel the same or even cheat cause they are tired of the relationship or bored and don’t have the [guts] to do it.”

11. It’s All About Intentions

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One person said, “It’s all about intentions. Emotions are volatile and should never be seen as an indicator of value towards your partner.”

Which one do you find most intriguing of the items above? Let us know in the comments.

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Source: Reddit

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