Constantly feeling tired and lazy? There might be more than meets the eye. One Reddit user shared with the Reddit community how she struggled with extreme laziness and how she didn’t want to do anything with her life—even the simplest things.
Here’s an excerpt of the OP’s problem:
“I (32f) am the laziest person I know. It’s a huge problem and I know I need to fix it. I just don’t know how. Aside from relying on motivation (which I don’t have) to get me off my a-, I have no idea what I’m meant to do.
“I’ve always been this way, for as long as I can remember. As a kid/teen my parents would refuse to come into my room because it was such a mess. They would eventually force me to clean it up. After it was all clean, my mum would say to me, ‘Doesn’t it feel good to have a tidy room and actually have accomplished something?’. But I would never feel ‘good’ for having done it, just exhausted from the effort.
I think that’s part of the issue; I have never got a ‘good feeling’ from finishing or accomplishing something. Not from small things, like cleaning or meeting gym goals or work targets, etc. Not even for big things, like scoring 97% in an exam or getting a new job. It just doesn’t happen for me. I don’t know if I’m the weird one or if my mum exaggerated this ‘good feeling’ that people get but I have no clue what it’s even supposed to feel like.
“And my laziness just keeps getting worse. I’ve lost out on money (that I can’t really afford to lose) by not returning clothes that don’t fit because going back to the shop is too much effort. Once I ordered something online that got rerouted to a collection point (less than a 10 minute walk from my house). It was non refundable. I never collected it. Picking it up was too much effort so I just accepted that I would lose the money. I have wasted money on takeout when I have food in the fridge because I can’t be bothered cooking. I’ve bought disposable plates because I have no clean ones left but I’m too lazy to do the dishes.”
Is it just the lack of motivation, discipline, and accountability, or is it more than that? Here’s what the Reddit community says!
1. Executive Dysfunction
One person said, “Sounds like executive dysfunction, which is super common with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. You may wanna get checked out if you can.”
The second person replied, “Came to say this: OP, get evaluated ASAP. I identify with so much of what you said and recently found out I had ADHD. I’ve done a 180 since beginning treatment involving both behavioral aspects and meds. It’s taking time to build the habits, but it’s a totally different worldview now.”
Then somebody else agreed who also feel the same, “This. It’s usually not just laziness. I feel ‘lazy’ when I’m off ADHD meds.”
2. See if You Have ADHD or Ptsd
Somebody commented with some helpful tips to help OP, “You might also want to look into ADHD or PTSD. Both can lead to this awful feeling of WANTING to do things but feeling unmotivated, even if you think they are things that will bring joy. Here are a couple tricks I use:
“Sometimes I try to do something in an odd way to get a bit of dopamine (I’m going to hop to the kitchen or stand up and pat my head three times, etc. to jolt myself out of those periods where I’m ‘stuck’.
“I also gamify things (loads of digital apps and websites like Chore Wars) or I write a list of tasks on a loot box (I play DD and you can get mini figure loot boxes, I find it has to be something I’m excited about but don’t know what’s in it, so loot boxes are perfect). If I do all the things on the list, I get the loot box.
“I’ve also been working on mindfulness, just focusing deeply on the action at the moment and not how overwhelming the whole action is. As a messy person, I’ve had to ask for help getting my space to ground zero, and now I work on it. When I leave a room, I challenge myself to clean the space I left in 20 seconds.
“Since you like books, try audiobooks while you do chores. Assign a book to each chore. Only way to get further in the book is to do the chore. Do the things that should bring you joy, even if they don’t until they do. I read that in an ADHD book, its frustrating when things we love don’t bring us joy. But the advice is to do it anyway, and eventually, that joy comes back.
“Get an occupational therapist. Mine was cheap and gave me lots of tricks to manage this stuff and also I had to call him and be accountable each week. If you can’t afford that, set up a weekly call with a family member where you discuss your goals and are held accountable.
“Finally, involve other people! Sign up for a class in the mornings so the guilt motivates you to go. Schedule a weekly morning walk with a friend. Let your family know you are overwhelmed and stuck and ask if they can come over to help you reset your space. Hope something here helped.”
3. The Secret Is Discipline and Consistency
“Motivation only carries so far. You need discipline and consistency. I know this because I have the same problem. Set schedules for things; I study at 7 am, work out at 8, work, practice guitar, etc. Some days you really won’t want to but getting into the habit is important.
“There are two options: either you are content with your lifestyle and won’t change it, or you’re so unhappy that you are willing to do anything to change it. Figure that part out and the rest will come together,” shared somebody.
“This much executive dysfunction sounds extreme for a willpower problem; it might be a medical thing,” replied another.
“She won’t have discipline for things she absolutely doesn’t care about. I can be a bit lazy but I still make my bed or wash my sheets or floor because I love the way it looks and feels. She feels no joy from it and should probably look into why she gets no joy or satisfaction from having a clean room, etc.; that’s not really normal and possible depression,” added another with a different view.
4. Get Yourself Checked or Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Somebody commented, “Many people who have chronic depression, autism, or ADHD show signs of ‘laziness’—you mention you suffered depression previously and know what it feels like, then you went on to mention your mood. Do you realize that depression often has no mood-related symptoms? It doesn’t feel ‘sad’ oftentimes. It feels like exhaustion and laziness—exactly what you described. However, if you’re unwilling to even entertain the idea, then look into autism and ADHD instead.
“Another factor is need. People are capable of incredible things when necessitated, but if you’re comfortable and the people around you have allowed you not to do things that require significant effort, then you likely have no reason to push yourself. If you feel the issue isn’t related to an illness or disorder, then get out of your comfort zone and put yourself in an uneasy situation.”
5. Start Small Until It Becomes a Habit
“I am in the same boat. Here is what I try to do: (1) I do 1 task I don’t like per day. Don’t try to do them all on the same day. (2) Basic hygiene is very important should be done everyday. (3) I try to give myself rewards on Monday and Friday. Monday would be like buying myself a really good coffee before work and on Friday I would be eating out instead of making a lunch.
“I can talk to you about depression, discipline, and all that. But all of those never stuck in my brain. The answer is to start small and keep track of what you do. I like to make a to do list and just looking at the end of the week and what I have accomplished motivates me to do more. I think we are not made to find happiness every day or in everything we do. So need to take it when we can,” shared somebody.
“I second this! Start slow. Pick one section of your house, the bathroom, the living room, and just clean that section only. Set a timer and see how much you can do in 5-10 minutes, then reward yourself with TV or a snack. The next day, another 5-10 minutes. Make a list, cross things off. It’s not easy, but please be kind to yourself. You may not be depressed, but the drudgery of life can definitely get to you,” agreed the second person.
6. It’s Not Your Identity
One user said, “First, and most importantly, stop using it as an identity marker. This goes for anything you want to overcome. When you say, ‘I am lazy,’ your mind reinforces that identity. Instead, say, ‘I’m working my lazy behavior. See how the language separates you from it? Even better, say something like, ‘I’m working on getting more things done.’ That’s more positive and affirming, and it focuses your mind in that direction.”
7. Start With the Two-Minute Rule
“Start with the 2-minute rule. As soon as you think of something you need to do that takes 2 minutes or less, you top what you are doing and get it done. Don’t wait for the TV commercials, don’t wait for the YouTube video you’re watching to end, just do it. This will start to strengthen your self-control,” stated somebody.
8. Set a Timer for 20 Minutes
Somebody said, “I set a timer for 20 minutes every night. I then challenge myself to see how much I can clean. When you first start, it may feel like you’re not accomplishing much but eventually you’ll find yourself searching for things to clean.”
9. Put Yourself in a “Swim or Sink” Situation
“Put yourself in a ‘sink or swim’ situation … I was never really ‘lazy’ per se but when my parents kicked me out at 26 for doing fraud with their credit cards I had to make it on my own. I slept in my old a- truck with an expired registration at night, took my showers in a gym, and survived mostly on microwaved food at convenience stores. I had to work my a- off to get to where I’m at now. I’m a homeowner, have paid off two vehicles since then and I still work two jobs and consistently save and invest portions of my income,” shared somebody.
10. Get Yourself Accountable
Somebody said, “You behave the way you do because you’ve not yet encountered a consequence important enough for you to behave differently. It sounds like no one or nothing in your life is holding you accountable to behave differently, and you’re not choosing to hold yourself accountable, so I don’t think you’re going to change. If you were well and truly disgusted with your own behavior, you would change it.”
What do you think the OP should do? Have you struggled with the same? Let us know in the comments!
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