Handle With Care: Blunders to Steer Clear of During a Break-Up

Breaking up is usually an emotionally charged situation, but one thing’s for sure: the wrong words in the moment can make it a lot worse. Oftentimes, our brain in the heat of the battle will think of replies that are not only unhelpful and hurtful to both parties, but sometimes downright funny—all due to their sheer inappropriate nature. To help you survive breakups without incident (and perhaps spare your pride), here’s a list of 20 things you should avoid saying when ending a relationship for good.

1. It’s Just You

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One user shared, “Her: ‘Is it someone else?’ Me: ‘No, it’s just you.'”

Another user replied, “My ex was insistent that I was leaving him b/c I wanted to go fuck other people and ‘you probably already are.’ I wasn’t cheating. I left him because he tried to kill me and still he was pointing fingers at anyone else.”

One added, “Sometimes it’s important that someone knows this, though. Because if it’s someone else, and they don’t work out, it means you’ve still got a chance. If you’re the reason the breakup is happening then you know it’s probably over. Edit: some of the responses are suggesting I think it’s a good idea to get back together with someone like this. I do not. I am mostly saying that closure is good.”

“I hope you kept a straight face, nodded and said that they deserve better than that…,” one user added. 

2. I Missed Your Parents More Than You

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“Two months after our breakup, she asked me if I missed her. I told her I missed her parents more than I missed her,” said one Redditor.

Another user also shared, “I was in a 5 year relationship with a guy who had a huge and absolutely lovely family. His mom had 10 siblings, and everyone was super close in the best kind of supportive way. Most of our friends were his cousins and his grandparents treated me like I was one of them. That relationship ran on a little longer than it should have simply because I didn’t want to lose that family. Never saw any of them again after the breakup and I still miss them, even ten years later.”

One commenter also replied, “My ex-wife’s brothers were at my wedding to my current wife. They fully support me, which is nice. They are probably two of my best friends to this day.”

Another user replied, “My MIL still includes an ex-SIL in family events (where appropriate). She’s still the mother of my kids’ cousins, so she’s still in our lives, but when they do a Girls Night with my wife and other women in the family they include her, because, well, she’s a lovely person and nobody stopped loving her just because her marriage didn’t work out.”

3. I Don’t Love You

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“The worst is telling someone you don’t love them anymore and genuinely seeing the heart break on their face. That’s a gut wrenching thing to see when you know your words caused it,” one user stated.

Another user confirmed, “Let me tell you, it’s not great hearing it either.”

Another Redditor replied, “It’s the kind of thing you hear that makes your face hot and your ears ring — it feels unreal. My fianceé just left me after telling me that she loves me but she isn’t IN love anymore and it left me broken, replaying infinitely every time I close my eyes. I see her unaffected facial expressions and her lips moving in slow motion and my heart sinks each time like the first time I heard it.

“Edit: Thank you to everyone who said it gets easier as the vision stops appearing so frequently. I have my first therapy appointment on Friday since everything went down and I’m looking forward to it. It blows me away how kind people can be here.”

One user responded, “I won’t say it gets better, but eventually you’ll go a whole day without thinking about it, then later a whole week, and eventually a whole month.”

Another user then added, “And the beauty of it all is although they may not love you anymore, at one point someone loved you so you know you aren’t incapable of being loved, it just means someone new can love you again. (Oddly enough learned that from the Simpsons, really helps me get through tough times.)”

4. It’s Unpleasant

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A user commented, “It’s unpleasant.

I’ve had that said to my face. Unfortunately, the memory of it is seared into my brain—probably forever.”

Another user added, “God yeah. Love of my life said it to me and it was absolutely crushing. “I don’t know if I’ve ever loved you”.

One also replied, “I got that one and then asked her to come back. Made no sense. I didn’t trust her at all anymore.”

Another user added, “I’m gonna be honest with you here. She did the same thing with me lmao. But in my case she was going through an extreme bout of depression and that’s one of the things that can happen. Aaaaaaaand we got back together. It’s been 8 years since then and we’re married now.”

Another user added, “This is a relationship. They don’t go in a straight line where you constantly ‘love’ one another. Relationships meander, they bend and curve up and down. One day you’re happy the next you could be depressed. One day you could be in an argument the next sick. Relationships are built on trust, understanding and communication. When they break down, so will the relationship.” 

One user also commented, “Honestly I feel like us breaking up was one of the best things for our relationship. We were both young and were going through shit and grew complacent. Breaking up made us appreciate what we had that much more. Now, almost a decade later, we joke that we love each other so much we chose to be together twice.”

5. I’m Happier Without You

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One user commented, “The breakup wasn’t my choice, but when he tried a few weeks later to reconnect, I said ‘Oh, I’ve actually been really happy since we’ve been apart. I don’t think I can get back together now.’ My sister called me savage for it, but I wasn’t trying to be mean. It was the truth, and I just hadn’t realized it until the thought of taking him back filled me with dread.”

Another user replied, “Unintentionally savage.”

One user exclaimed, “The most savage of savages.”

Another Redditor commented, “Similar thing happened to me. He called a month later, while I was living my best life (hanging out with friends and family I didn’t get to see because he monopolized all of my free time so that I couldn’t see them) and wondered why I hadn’t called. I told him that I was getting on with my life. He then said (I cannot make this up), ‘It wasn’t supposed to go this way. You were supposed to call every day, beg me to get back with you and learn your lesson and be a better girlfriend.’ All of this bc I could finally afford my own car and could now come and go without him. Smh.”

6. I Agree

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One commenter posted, “She was breaking up with me, and I told her, ‘You know you are right, and I agree, we aren’t very compatible, and our relationship has been on the decline for some time.’ Those were my true thoughts and feelings. I felt a sense of relief when she broke up with me because I realized it was the best move for the both of us.

“So why was this the worst thing to say? It ended up making her want to double down on the relationship. I was bombarded with non-stop texts, phone calls, and unannounced visits to my apartment. All of that. Apparently breaking up things amicably was not how she wanted to go. I think she was adamant she left with the upper hand.”

Another user also added, “Reminds me of my husband and a deal he recently had with his ex (they have kids). They were having a discussion about budgets at a restaurant with her mom being a mediator. She wanted an absurd amount of money for their daughter’s party.

“He told her, ‘We aren’t going to agree. I’m done with the conversation,’ and got up to leave. His ex ALWAYS has to be the one to walk away. As he was getting up, she jumped out of her chair, grabbed her stuff, and basically sprinted out of the restaurant. Just so she could be the one to leave.”

Another Redditor replied, “I don’t think that’s the power move she thinks it is, that’s actually hilarious. I’d have genuinely burst out in laughter. It’d make her look desperate and self conscious.”

One commenter shared, “Yeah I’ve had a breakup with the woman who always needs to win. She wanted to break up with me but also it had to be exactly her way, it caused her extreme rage when inevitably I defied her demands. It was stupid stuff too like she owned a car but had been driving a nicer car that I owned and she demanded I keep paying the insurance on it and transfer it over to her lol…

“It was really weird, I always figured she was cheating or at least thinking about it because she was actually a really good girlfriend for like 10 months and then a flip switched and she just quit everything one day.”

7. No One Else Will Ever Love Me

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One Redditor said, “’Please don’t leave, no one else will ever love me,’ said me sobbing in the open doorway of the new apartment of my wife of barely one year. My self esteem was totally shattered. My life was over, there just was nothing left. She was kind but firm. She knew the relationship wasn’t a good fit before I accepted that.

“We were very young, friends but not life partners. I didn’t fully understand until I was a few years into my second marriage. We both went on to have successful, happy lifelong second marriages.”

Another user replied, “That hit close to home, as I recently begged someone to please not leave me. I’m really truly happy for you that you found love and perspective, and hope one day I can be there too. Not today though.”

Another user added, “Not a break up, but was seeing this girl off and on (because she wouldn’t commit to actually dating). Got sick of the yo-yoing, fired up Facebook Dating and met my now girlfriend for drinks two days later.

“When the non-committal girl came back and I told her I was off the market I said, ‘I’m just looking for someone who knows what commitment is.’ Must have hit a nerve because about six weeks later she was pregnant.”

8. You’re Turning Into Your Mother and I Hate It

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“’You’re turning into your mother and I hate that [woman].’ I’m sure there was a more diplomatic way to phrase that but 19 year old me was out of fucks to give at that point,” one user stated.

One replied, “Classic! And that was it? Said that, dropped the mic and you were outie (Audi) like 4 circles? That would be beautiful—a movie quality quote my friend…”

Another user responded, “Haha something like that. It was the last thing I ever said to her, and from what I heard from some mutual friends years later I was absolutely correct in my estimation.”

9. We Should Just Be Friends

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One user shared, “Her, ‘This isn’t working out. I think we should just be friends.’ Me, “Lets just never talk again is probably best.'”

Another user replied, “Better than faking it tbh.”

One commenter replied, “That’s not mean, that just is what it is. I was broken up with and the guy was all about still staying friends (I was in a position to buy a first home, was doing rather well, etc etc and he was looking to be… Friends with benefits and roommates… I don’t… know) his reasons were valid. I wasn’t upset but I responded honestly, ‘I get it, thanks for being honest and while I appreciate the offer of friendship I am looking for a partner not a friend. I have more than enough friends.’”

10. You’re a Deadbeat

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“Not me but someone told my aunt they were breaking up with her because she was a deadbeat going nowhere in life. Then she became a doctor out of spite. Lol,” one user commented.

Another user replied, “Ah yes, spite success, the best kind of success.”

11. Intimacy is One of the Reasons

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One user shared, “[I said] ‘S-x is part of the reason I’m ending things…’ In my defense it was my first time breaking up with a guy. The man had a b-ner the entire time I was breaking up with him, he was crying, and he kept trying to have sex one last time during my break up speech. I was perplexed.”

Another user replied, “The image of a dude being broken up with while also sporting a full tent is honestly kind of funny.”

12. Thank You, That Was Very Helpful

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“I once ended a struggling relationship. A few months later I got an email from the person, and it was pages of everything I had ever done wrong in the relationship. I realized that this was why the relationship had been struggling. All these things that had been bothering my partner, and they had bottled them all up inside instead of, say, talking to me about it.

“So, my entire response to this multiple page email with everything I had ever done wrong, ‘Thank you, that was very helpful,'” one user shared.

Another user quoted, “You fell asleeeeep?! It was 18 pages!”

Another user added, “’FRONT AND BACK!’ ‘Don’t worry about me not getting any sleep. I STILL HAVE YOUR LETTER!!’

13. Go Out In Style

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One frustrated user shared, “I had a partner who regularly threatened [self harm] if I left. She was horribly mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive. The last time she did this, she threatened to jump off our apartment balcony. I told her to make sure to ‘do a back flip on the way down so you can at least go out in style.’ and left the apartment. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t do it.”

Another user replied, “Had a similar break up. Was with the guy for 2 years, he sent me videos and pictures of his mouth full of pills and deep down I knew he wasn’t really going to do it. I still regret the way I handled that because if he really did it, I don’t know how I’d be able to live with myself.” 

14. No One Will Ever Love You like I Do

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One user commented to the thread, “No one will ever love you like I do”

At the time, I was young and that’s really how I felt. In retrospect, it was mean and manipulative.

We’re now both in happy marriages.” One user replied, “”I’m good with that.” “My ex told me that, or something along those lines, and to this day it still breaks my heart almost 2 years later.”, one user commented.

15. You Need Therapy

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One Redditor posted, “You need therapy if you actually want to be successful in relationships. You can’t even commit to owning a cat.”

Another user chuckled and posted, “This one actually got an audible laugh out of me.”

16. You Are an Old Loser

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One commenter said, “’You are a 30 year old loser. Stop going to clubs to be the ‘dj’ b/c people actually make fun of you.’ Ahhh, stupid younger me. Would never say something like that. I was very hurt because he was with someone else 1 month after our +3 years relationship. But we are good now, and I wish him all the very best in the world. He was a good guy, but we were simply not right for each other. I just wanted to damage his ego because mine was damaged.”

Another user replied, “Does he still go to clubs to DJ? This is important.”

One user replied, “Spoiler: HE DOES. Hahaha and I have been to those parties too. No bad blood anymore, we are cool.”

17. Please Don’t Write Back

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One user shared, “’Please don’t write back. This hurts too much.’”

Another Redditor replied, “This one hit close to home.”

18. It’s Not Me, It’s You

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“’It’s not me, it’s you.’” one user added.

Another replied, “You’re [hecking] right it’s me.”

One user commented, “Nobody tells me it’s them, not me. If it’s anybody, it’s me.”

“I prefer ‘It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t like you,'” another Redditor added. 

19. Do We Have Chemistry?

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One user commented, “I was a high school freshman and I opened my breakup speech with, ‘Do you think we have chemistry?’ Hoping he’d say no and make it easier. He said yes. Such a stupid way to go about it, I know. It didn’t teach me anything because a year later I opened another breakup speech with the same question, and he gave the same answer. I finally stopped asking that question.”

One user also responded, “It’s all about your rebuttal ‘Do you think we have chemistry?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Well that makes one of us. Bye!'”

Do you have more things in mind? Share in the comments!

Source: Reddit.

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