Flying Solo? Exploring the Possible Reasons Behind Your Single Status

Are you feeling down and out because of your single status? Don’t worry; it doesn’t have to be that way! This blog post is here to help turn things around by providing a list of the top 20 reasons why you’re single. Get ready for some laughs as we take an honest look at what might be keeping you from finding love. From considering yourself “too picky” to being too shy to put yourself out there, we address all the most common dating woes—plus offer up some invaluable advice on how to fix them! So if you want your happily ever after: read on!

1. You’re A Hermit

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One user posted, “I’m basically a hermit.”

Another user responded saying, “No drama, and the remote is f-ing mine.”

One user also affirmed, “Same, plus people [are generally terrible], so looking for companionship is also like sticking hands in a needle stack looking for a piece of hair.”

2. People Are Too Dramatic

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One Redditor also shared, “I have no energy for anything; people are draining and complicated.”

Another user replied, “Are you me? This is exactly how I feel. I get off work, and the last thing I want to do is have to deal with someone else.”

One Redditor added, “This is kinda one of the reasons I am not into any relationships with anyone. People are way too empty without any content, not interesting or serious about relationships, and many are also way too manipulative.”

3. You Have Nothing to Offer

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“I don’t have anything women want that better guys can’t provide,” one user added to the thread.

Another Redditor replied, “I’ve thought about this a lot.”

One user commented, “Dude, statistically better guys are already taken by a subset of girls. There should be plenty left on your level field. That is the problem with the girls: 90% of girls are after 10% of “better guys.” but once reality settles in, they will go after you as well.” 

“Objectively speaking, though, no woman on earth is going to go for a disabled guy like me. They’ll be with me despite, not inclusive of, my disability. This has been my lived experience, to use an overused phrase, lol. They have a subconscious feeling of superiority that comes out in small ways. It’s a long f-ing story that would take too much time in a comment, but trust me here,” another commenter added.

However, one user commented, “I was married to a fine man for 26 years before death parted us. He had a disability that he was born with. I never thought of him as less than or disabled. He was simply my love. My person. We loved each other well and truly and had a family. It can happen.”

4. Too Many Fish in the Sea

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One user asked, “Have you actually seen the dating pool?! …There’s not enough chlorine in the world.”

Another user responded, “Lots of insects getting in the water…”

One commenter added, “Frogs in the filter.” 

5. You Always Feel Odd

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One user explained, “The whole dating thing makes me just feel odd. I’m tired of everybody and the red or green flags. The arguments and all, I don’t want to deal with it. I’d rather be single.”

The OP of the thread commented, “Been cheated on. It made me scared to date again, I dated again, and some other stuff happened, and let’s say I’m now socially awkward and can’t talk to women anymore. Although I find it tiring, I’m trying my best not to lose hope.”

Another commenter added, “The red flag feels like canceling culture but for dating—one wrong move and you’re done.”

6. Haven’t Met the Right One

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One Redditor explained, “I honestly don’t know. A year and a half ago, I could have answered this quickly since I’d stay at home moping, just hoping someone would come calling. Well, of course, that wasn’t going to happen, so a year or so ago, I made myself get out, meet new people, befriend them, all the things you’re supposed to do.

“It didn’t work. People saw my kindness as a vessel to take advantage of and use me. I understood why doing nothing netted negative results. I don’t understand why doing the right thing also nets negative results. It makes no d- sense, it hurts, it’s made me cynical and depressed, and I don’t know what to do now.”

Another user commented, “Just keep being genuinely kind, start keeping boundaries, and it’ll weed out the bad people. You’ll meet someone eventually. Just take it slow.”

One commenter added, “Don’t close yourself off from other people. Also, be assertive and don’t let people take advantage of you. You don’t have to sacrifice your own needs to make people like you. Real friends are your friends because they enjoy your company, not because they gain materially from your presence. Yes, maybe someone you don’t let take advantage of you will not want anything to do with you, but that just means they were never going to be a true friend anyway.”

“I totally agree with what has been said here above; take a moment for yourself and establish some boundaries, some things you won’t accept being said or made, and get back in it. You might not find someone at first, but it’s fun and gets better,” concluded another person. 

7. You Don’t Meet Enough People

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One user posted, “I just don’t meet enough people now that I’m over 30.”

Another user stated, “Was married in my 30s and now divorced in my early 40s. It doesn’t get any better, friend. Everyone has a family.”

One user commented, “This exact thing. Married for 15 years, and the guys available are all weird to me. Better alone than with someone that doesn’t fit again.”

Another user answered, “I hope this will never be me. I’m already socially awkward due to my last relationship.”

8. You Just Don’t Like People

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Another user shared, “I hate people.”

One user replied, “Bingo!”

One person confirmed, “So true. If you hope to receive unconditional love in your life, get a dog. Dogs are better than people anyhow.”

9. Scared to Date

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One user shared, “Recovering from a divorce, I want a solid relationship; I’m also scared to re-enter the dating world.”

Another user replied, “Same here, dating looks scary in this landscape, and it’s okay to be happy on your own.”

“But I’m not happy on my own. I’m miserable. And to add insult to injury (and tangibility to metaphysical), I can’t afford … Anything as a result of only having one income. No house. No vacations. No enjoying the single life. Just a pointless, lonely ‘grind…’ More like a ‘skid.’ And it’s not like I just came out of the gate yesterday, either. I’m tired, boss,” the first user added.

10. You Like Your Freedom

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One user shared, “I like the freedom.”

Another user responded, “I feel this so much.”

“Same. Enjoying independence!” exclaimed another Redditor.

11. You Don’t Think People Deserve You

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A user shared, “Because 99.9% of the people in this world don’t deserve me.”

Another user replied, “Someone out there for you. Happy cake day, pal.”

12. Your Mom Said No

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One Redditor posted, “My mom said no.”

Another user replied, “When I was a teen, my parents didn’t let me date. When I was 18, they still didn’t. But ofc I still dated secretly, and to this day, all of my past relationships were secret. They still believe I have never had a date.”

However, one commenter asked, “Did you try asking out anyone else?”

13. You Don’t Like the Dating World

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One user explained, “I have no tolerance for what dating has become. I’m just old enough to remember when standing someone up on a date made you a piece of c-. Male or female. Now it’s called ghosting, and not only is it expected. We actually blame the person who got ghosted and says they must have done something wrong. I’m a Xennial who mostly sides with millennials over boomers. But you really f-ed up making ghosting socially acceptable.”

Another commenter replied, “I also don’t understand why people ghost. Even my friends, they ghost me. And it makes me think that I’m a boring person because I am always the one who gets ghosted. If my friends ghost me, what about a potential SO? And it gives me trauma to open up with anyone fully because it feels like they’re toying with me. So, maybe this is how my life is. No matter how hard I try, they just don’t care, and they always leave me in the end without even saying goodbye or telling me my faults.”

14. No One Seems Interested

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One Redditor shared, “No one seems interested enough to get to know me. I don’t really have many opportunities to meet people. I work full-time 2nd shift, and I work every other weekend. I don’t have any friends either ’cause I didn’t keep in touch with any childhood friends.”

Another user added, “Didn’t keep in touch either. Recently I found an old friend on FB, added them, and they added me; I tagged them in a post, and then, for some reason, blocked me. [It’s terrible]. No clue why.”

One user answered, “Might I suggest, don’t tag people. It shows up on all their friends’ feeds. It might be what they deem inappropriate or something they don’t want to be attributed to. Instead, share a private message. Then, it gives you a chance to start a private conversion as well.”

The OP responded, “Yeah. I sent them a dm and got no response. And I posted a picture of my elementary school yearbook with all my classmates in it, and bam. Who knows why…”

15. Taking Care of Family

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One Redditor posted, “I am 31, divorced, living with my 76-year-old dad. I take care of him; he has cancer and Parkinson’s. I don’t have much of a life right now. I am okay with that. I don’t know how much more time I have with my dad, and I am just focusing on taking care of him.

“I have been taking care of my ex-husband (multiple injuries at work and cancer), my ex-in-laws, my eldest brother, my mom, and one aunt. After this, I am taking care of myself. I’ll probably be single for a while after he passes too.”

Another user replied, “I understand. I’m looking forward to spending my energy on myself.”

16. Not Great at Talking To Women

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“I’m not great at approaching women, and all the women I’d consider in the friend group I’m in have boyfriends. I get matches on dating apps, but nothing ever comes out of those; the conversation never escalates into anything interesting. I think I’m also a unique person that’s gonna have a more challenging time finding a match—I’m already a person with only a few friends. My personality is not going to be a match with everyone.”, exclaimed one user.

17. You Have Trust Issues

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“B/c I have trust issues,” one user shared.

Another user replied, “Same…mental illness and baggage and being betrayed.”

One user agreed, “Same.”

18. Not Ready to Commit

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One Redditor posted, “Few reasons: I married at 20. She left me 13 months later after five years into the relationship where she had family drama and moved in with me my senior year before high school, which complicated a lot of things since I was basically married at that point. She was emotionally abusive and left me for a coworker she told me not to worry about. A month after she left, she moved in with him in a new apartment, and once our divorce was final, she announced she was three months pregnant and remarried two days after what would’ve been our 2nd anniversary and not even a year after she left me.

“After my year-long [promiscuous] phase, I realized I didn’t want to be that way and once again attempted a relationship. For nearly a year, I was in on-again, off-again situations with someone I did fall for hard. In the end, she kept using me as a placeholder every time she and her abusive ex would break up. In the end, she just told me she was using me and felt guilty, and I was essentially a placeholder for her, hoping that her ex would get help. And I’ve still yet to recover from that.

“I’m stuck in this weird middle of wanting something intimate and to have someone I can call my person, and also wanting my isolation and freedom, which is a very confusing state of mind. Dating is hard and exhausting. No matter how many dates I go on with however many people, something just isn’t clicking for me or my dates. I haven’t found my person yet, and that’s okay. Maybe one day I will. I’ll continue trying, but I accept that being single is okay.”

Another user replied, “I really feel with you on this point. I keep missing the intimacy of a partner. However, I am not ready for the responsibility and commitment of a relationship. I am not a big fan of hookup culture; due to past relationships, I need to feel safe with my sexual partners.”

19. Not Loving Yourself

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One Redditor commented, “I don’t love myself; therefore, I cannot love someone else.”

Another user added, “I hate that line. Of course, you can love someone else. Yeah, one should work on themselves, and if they don’t, their relationship may falter—but the idea you cannot love someone else is pure horsesh-t.”

Another person replied, “You can hate yourself But you love your friends, your family… You love gaming, art, music… And someone else can love you to death, even with your ‘flaw’ of hating yourself, and if they really love you, they’ll want nothing but the best for you, so they’ll try to cheer you up. Who came up with that line?”

One commenter said, “Emphasis on try. Abstract ideas like gaming, art, music, etc., are not the same as people. People get tired of trying to help someone who isn’t helping themselves. People will try and try, but eventually, people will distance themselves from you if you’re not making an effort/progress, and it’s not because they don’t love you, but it’s because 1. They most likely can’t stand to see you in a sh-tty state because they care so much, and 2. Nobody can make you love yourself; you literally have to find that within yourself. The best people can do is try and point you in the right direction or give you an idea. The rest is up to us.

“Sidenote: You guys do know there’s a difference between love and sympathy, right…? No shame in taking what you can get, but it’s important not to confuse the 2.”

One user added, “You can’t properly love someone else if you don’t love yourself. Then you end up putting a ton of pressure on your partner because all of your attention/needs are being put solely on them instead of yourself. It’s easy for your partner to literally become your whole world and reason for living which can lead to losing yourself in them when you don’t love yourself. The moral of the story is you’re asking for dependency issues getting into a relationship without loving yourself; trust me, it’s why I’m single now after 3 of the best years of my life…”

20. You’ve Never Been on a Date

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One Redditor shared, “I’ve been single my whole life. Never been on a date. I’m not the prettiest, but I know I still have worth, and I know what I want to do in life and won’t settle.”

Another user replied, “Not so much difference. Sometimes, I want to know how it feels to go on a date, but no one has ever asked me out, or I have asked them because I am not attracted to my guy friends. It’s fine, though. Just keep on believing that one day it’ll be my time to experience it or not, considering I’m getting older and it’s just so hard to find someone I want to be with; even if I’ve found this person, it wouldn’t be sure that they wanted to be with me.”

Do you agree with the list above? Share your thoughts and leave a comment!

Source: Reddit.

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